To find out who I really am, I have to be one thing above all else: ready! I have to be ready to meet the person who is still hiding somewhere inside of me. I would say it's not always easy, but that would be a lie, because if I open up and make my way, it's just that. When I think that I was back in Germany very dissolved, standing crying in the hall and did not want to leave for Ireland (I just could not say goodbye to my cat and say: See you soon Kierkegaard), but then when I think of the moment when I said goodbye to my mom at the airport, the feeling was different. I love my mom above all else and she is the most important person in my life, but at that moment, I just knew more than clearly that this farewell must be and is necessary, because we simply have to leave people, animals and objects behind. We have to say goodbye so we have the chance to start something new. For me, this farewell was on the one hand saying goodbye to my cat and on the other saying goodbye to my mom. I was ready, I was more than ready. I just wanted to march through passport control and start a new life. Every fibre of my body was ready. And then I sat in the plane. All those moments of panic and doubt that I had in the morning were gone. I felt that I was on the right track - on my way. It's hard to describe the feeling of being on the right track, so I'll start at the beginning.
A very important and loving person in my life told me one day that I should just go to Ireland. For a long time it was clear to me that I did not want to stay in Germany. That was not and is not my country. New Zealand was my country, it made me feel happy and at home ... Unfortunately, New Zealand is not exactly around the corner and the immigration conditions are a bit more difficult.
However I was made aware of Ireland and the seed was sown. I am a very impulsive person and therefore I act on things fast, move fast and act on impulse, but if I have something in my head then that's what I want and nothing else. I follow a plan without having a plan. So it was very clear to me that I would fly to Ireland. I booked my one-way flight without first seeing the country and without having a plan of what I would do there. And when we start such actions, then we should realize one thing: we are ready.
What is released in us when we have made a decision? Is it euphoria or panic? In the latter case, think over your decision again and otherwise go for it. If we are honest then nothing can happen to us. We can always turn around again or think of something else. And if that happens then that's not going to be a big deal. It always, really always, comes as it should come. But even more important is: it comes at the right time. We have no control over that - we can either move towards it or away from it with our decisions. If anyone here asks me how I came to just move over, I tell them that I've listened to my gut feeling. And here we arrived already at the point: It's always about our feeling it may be a gut feeling or our intuition. Listen to it! Be honest with yourself and open up yourself to yourself and the being that is really in you. Once you're ready for it, things will work out by themselves. Nothing and nobody will be able to stand in your way - except yourself! For a moment, let's pay attention to the objections that I keep hearing: you are young, you have no obligations yet, you have no responsibility.
I can only answer that: At the age of 25, I could already have a family, so young is such a thing, but it's true, I'm not 45 and caught in anything. Of course, someday I will have family, but on my terms and only then, if I am really ready.
Still, age is not the only factor that plays a role. You can always take the step, you just have to trust commitments, who has obligations? YOU are only obliged to yourself and not even to your job, quit it, you do not need much to live on. Grab your bag and go. Nothing and nobody can hold you back. Every decision that you make will of course affect you and your environment. But have you ever thought that these decisions can also have positive effects on your environment? It does not have to be negative! That may be in your imagination, but that's the fear that speaks out of you and not the courage. Do you think your partner or your children have the real you, if you are unhappy? Responsibility ... Yes, that's a matter of course. Who tells you what you have responsibility for? You are the most important person in your life. As long as your children are small, you have responsibility for them, but this point will eventually be ticked off, they will be free and make their own lives. You have no responsibility for your partner, your parents or your siblings. Only for you. Have you ever wondered where the sense of responsibility actually comes from? Nobody can prescribe for you what you feel responsible for, only you yourself. It sounds very selfish, but you must not make your happiness, your love and your life dependent on other people. Only you can find out for yourself what makes you happy and how you want to live your life. And that's exactly what you need, a healthy dose of selfishness. Have faith, if you have found your way, then everything will work out. Everything will develop and you will not be afraid of the future and uncertainty. Listen to your inner voice alone, for no voice in the outside can guide you as your own.
Now there is only one more question: How long does it take to find your way?
The counter question in this case is: what are you willing to leave behind, or what do you hold on to, that prevents you from going your way? You are the deciding factor in the answer!
But the most fundamental question is: do you want to find your way and if so, are you ready to go?
Be brave and dare to finally go on your way. It's the most beautiful gift you can give yourself.