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I'm very sure of one thing. Whenever that may be, at the end of my life I want to look back and I don't want to regret a single thing, I don't want to have any item left on my list. Nor do I want to start living only because I know that the expiration date is almost reached. I want to live every day - live consciously.
It is always said that a day without a smile is a lost day. But is that true? Can days be lost just because we don't smile? There are days when we just don't feel like smiling. But these days can be our realignment days. It is so important that we can withdraw into ourselves, that we go into peace and calmness, focus on ourselves and check on us weather we are happy or not. Days when we don't smile aren't lost days – these are days that maybe just want to draw our attention to something. Let´s see these days as an opportunity, an opportunity to question and realign. If we take all these changes we can look forward to days when we are back smiling again. Life has so much in store for us, for each one of us, if we have the willpower and really want to tackle our lives, then we can literally do anything. If we know what we want, what our dream is, if we have an exact idea of our life, then we can implement it! It may not always be easy, but if we are 100% convinced of it, believe in ourselves and have confidence in ourselves, then we will manage to remove any stone, pebble or boulder, that we might find on our way. Lift your gaze, stand up, recognize the vastness of the world, learn to accept the limitlessness, because we limit ourselves in our being all alone. Free yourself from your past, open yourself to your future and live in the here and now.
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We all have this one place that we connect our roots to. We don't have to come from this place, but we feel a connection to this place. It is a place that lets us shine, that changes something in us.
I know that change always takes place within you, but there is no denying that things outside affect us as well. Whether this influence emanates from a person or a place - it doesn't matter. As soon as something touches us, we are allowed to take a closer look. Have you ever asked yourself where your roots are, have you paid attention to the story of your parents, grandparents or even great-grandparents? I don't think it's a secret and it doesn't have to be one, that I have not a good or a connection at all with my grandparents. I broke away from this because I believe that it doesn't matter whether you are linked to a person by water or blood, it is absolutely irrelevant. You can choose family! It is up to you who you want to have by your side. You can recognize your grandma in a person who isn´t related to you in any way at all. The connection you have with that person resonates far higher, it takes place on a different level than a consanguinity. And now let's be honest, these connections are usually worth more because they came out of our own free will and not out of a sense of duty. They always say it doesn't matter where you come from, but who you are. And that is also correct. Still, I think we can find out where our origins lie. In which places did my ancestors live, where did they grow up, what did they experience, what shaped them, why were they the way they were? If we deal with it, then we may be ready to understand them better and to accept them as they were and still are. For me, a place with which I connect my roots is Lindau on Lake Constance, it is the place where my great-grandmother spent a long time of her life, it is one of the places in the world where I feel at home. Where my energy changes, where I change, where I find my way back to myself, where I can return to myself. Today my great-grandma would have been 98 years old. She is the person who meant the most to me. It definitely hasn't always been easy for her and I take my hat off to what she has achieved. Did she do everything right? No definitely not. Could she have done many things differently or better? Yes, in any case. But none of us do everything right in life. We all make decisions or actions and think afterwards, what the hell?! Hey this is life. We live it and we try to live it better every day. No matter how grumpy my great-grandma was, no matter with what rash statements she hurt me, I loved her from the bottom of my heart! She loved to give, she cared, was always up for a joke, had the blackest sense of humour I´ve ever known. But the most important thing? There was warm, pure love in the look of her eyes. I will never forget her eyes and the way they were when she laughed. Our eyes are the gateway to the soul and her soul was and is pure love - like all of us. If I could, I would give anything to sit at the table with her again and see her laughing, just over the stupidest nonsense. These are the moments that we should cherish, that we should keep within. Remind yourself that life is too short, that we can give every single day the chance to become the most beautiful one of our lives and we just live - let's just accept life as it comes upon us, because it is far too short. Let's find out where our roots are and see what that triggers in us. Let´s open ourselves to the new, but also to the old. Sometimes we are allowed to take a closer look, maybe also into the past again, in order to be finally ready to go forward and say with love goodbye to the past. Roots… what are they doing with you? How often in life do we make a decision? Weekly? Daily? Hourly?
Do we think a lot before we decide, do we make a list of pros and cons or do we not really think about it and just go for it? No matter how big the decision will be, whether it is just a little thing (which sweater do I wear today, do I take a short or large walk?) or whether it is something bigger (where will my next trip go, do I really want to open a café, is it time to reorient myself?) each of us has our own approach or strategy to make a decision. As soon as we make a decision, we choose something, but we must not forget that we decide against something on the same turn. If I decide to go right at an intersection, I decide against turning left or following the path that goes straight. In order to arm ourselves against later doubts, we should always be sure of our decision. If we live in the trust that my life always contains what I should encounter, then I will not regret any of my decisions, because then I will live in harmony with myself, my higher self, my soul and my inner voice. Let´s move away from the small decisions, like which sweater I put on, whether I go for a short or long walk or where my next vacation will go. Let´s turn to the essential things. Am I happy with the man by my side, do we have a future together, will we have a family, will we build a house, will we live happily ever after? Okay, that sounds like an outdated model, right? So many things are changing right now ... So you can ask yourself whether this typical family picture is still suitable or whether it is ready to be renewed? I personally grew up just as well, in a large house, with a large garden, cats, mother and father always by my side, no worries, hardships and fears except for those that I have put up myself and that I have just brought down with me on earth (since these belong to me and are part of my task, it is also completely okay that they are there). It was a nice way to grow up, but I wonder, will this be my life too? Do I see myself in this constellation in a few years? As a wife, mother, at home, with a large house and garden? Or do I see myself completely different? Because I have a picture in my head that cannot be reconciled with wife, mother, a house and a garden. I am the one who is free, who loves independence, who loves spontaneity, not so much the uncertainty but somehow I do. I live the moment and yet I have a plan, an idea ... But this idea cannot be combined with sedentary life and being a mother, because I know that I cannot do both. So what do I choose? My dreams or a family? Many say you don't have to choose because you can have both. But honestly, who likes to be a mother when he can't be with the children and which children would like to have a mother who is more on the go than at home? I worked for a few families where the mother was constantly working... And what happened? The children begun to see me as their mother and an intensive bond was woven. Do I really want my children to have a more motherly relationship with another woman than with me? No, definitely not. As of today, I choose my dream. Because I'm here to do what I am supposed to do, to live my dreams. I love children and I know that if I ever should be a mother, I will do a great job, but I feel like this time it´s about me… I live my life, now for once I am the centre around which everything in my life revolves. No, it's not an easy decision, but I know that you can't do both with the same amount of passion, love and power... What is the beautiful thing about life? Life always finds a way and what should be, will be. Either way… I have been thinking for a long time about whether to publish my thoughts on the Corona crisis, but right now people seem to forget that there is something positive in every negative thing. We may not see it directly, but it is always there.
I have been in lockdown for four weeks now and within a two-kilometer radius for two weeks. Of course it's not fun at all, but we learn to deal with it and we learn to live with it. It doesn't matter whether you turn on the TV or the radio, go online or talk to friends, it's all about the many fatalities, the people who lose their jobs due to the crisis and how bad and terrifying the whole thing is. Now let's leave this out for a moment, it doesn't matter how bad the whole thing is or what harm it does to the economy, because the main thing in this time is: what is happening to you? If we put distance between ourselves and chaos, then we are able to see more clearly and maybe we will even see the big picture and not just an individual part, such as death, suffering, the economy and so on... I want to try to pay close attention to spirituality, belief, power, thought transformation, the old system and the new world. At the moment we are facing a change, a transformation, the beginning of something new. But before something new can come, the old must give way. However something old will never just go away, because we humans are way too much creatures of habit. It takes something or let´s face it: it takes a lot to start a change in us. At the moment the door to the old is just about to close, because we are forced to go to rest and to refrain. This enables the universe to open a new door. The new is already in the starting blocks, but we may first have to deal with the old in order to really let it go; to be really ready for the new. We can compare it to a tunnel we are currently in. We can still see the light of the entrance, but we walk towards the exit, behind which the new will awaits us. It is the process of transformation that we can go through now, we can let go of the old and leave the past behind. So what happens? The universe condemns us to a break, a forced break. The world stands still and Mother Earth has the chance to recover from our pollution, devastation and careless handling of it. The air is becoming clearer, the water is cleaner, forests are breathing more freely, animals are returning to their usual habitat, birds are singing louder than ever. Mother Earth is doing her part of the transformation and she shows us, now it is up to us. We can focus again on what really matters. Not globalization, not any kind of status symbols. So what's important? You spend a lot of time with your family or partner or with yourself - and this is your chance. Now it's up to you what you do with that time. Can you really focus on yourself? Can you calmly ask and answer the following questions: What does the whole thing do to you? Let's focus on it... You finally have time to focus on yourself. Who are you? What do you really want in life? Are you happy with your life? Are you doing a job that really fulfils you? Do you live your passion? Do you actually know who you really are? Can you look into your own eyes and have a conversation with your soul? We are going through a change, some feel it and others don't. Now it´s time for us to realize that there is so much more than what we´re able to see. So, are you accepting the changes that are coming or are you going to continue your life as before, doing a job that doesn't fulfil you, that may even cost you everything? Will you still ignore your inner voice and won´t follow her advice? Instead you follow the advice of people who pretend to know you, but it is only you who really knows you and knows what is good for you. Perhaps the changes will also be so serious that you will no longer be able to pursue your life as it was before. Then you will be forced to change something. We can always choose an easy or less easy way, but if we are so caught up in our pattern we will never be able to choose the easy one because we cannot perceive it. The fact is: we don't know. What now? We actually have all the information we need. All we can do right now is to take stock of oneself and see what we find there. You already have everything you need within you. Now is the time to recognize exactly that, now is the time to remember and to step into your full being. At the moment you don´t BE at the moment you exist. So stop existing and start BEING. Say goodbye to the old and greet the new, because if there is one thing in life that is constant it´s change. Be ready for the change, because it will come - we are already in the middle of it ... You might lose people through that change but you also might win a very important one: yourself. So open up and let it happen. Let the light shine in you and let awake your spirit and your mind. Feel the awakening and allow it to be…. "Just be you and the rest will come exactly as it should be." This is what my mum told me again and again. And now it's time for all of us to recognize that. Go into the BEING and the rest will come exactly as it should be. Who do you live for?
We flaunt our lives. Every day anew, we show where we are, what we have, what we can and who we are. But do we show the world who we really are or do we just pretend to be a person who we really are not? Do we do this for self-protection? For the struggle for recognition? Or even to feel better about ourselves, in which we ultimately believe our lies and start to live them? Who do you live for? You decide every day anew and you can give every single day of your life the chance to become the best in your life. But that doesn't work in a world where you just pretend to be and don´t be at all. Who do you live for? Who do you keep updated with long messages about the new life you have chosen to live? You report about your life and entertain people with whom you may not even be really in contact any longer. You let your past participate in something that overall isn´t longer part of your present and you don´t know whether it will be still a part of your future. Who do you live for? Are you building up a life for yourself or for the others? Do you find friends and family for yourself or the others? Do you meet a new love for yourself or the others? Can you really settle in your life and start to build up something if you live it permanently for the others and not for yourself? You are the only person you should live your life for, because it is your life, it is not the one of others. Only you decide what´s next, because it is your future and not the future of the others. You are only who you are because of your past and you aren´t who you are because of the past of the others. Only you alone can extricate yourself from all this and live your life according to your ideas, because it´s your life and you live it only for yourself. Who is caught up in his past?
Who imagines their future and focuses on everything that could maybe be? And who actually lives in the here and now? The past is for a good reason our past and not any longer our present. It depends on us whether we were allowed to learn or to teach something in our past. We should never forget that everything that happens to us is completely correct. Everything that happens to us or that we experience happens for a reason and it may sound a bit strange, but it always comes out the way that we chose it. With every decision we make, we move in a certain direction. We know not always what waits for us at the end of the path, but the further we go, the more we recognize what will expects us and then we have the opportunity to decide again: is this path really the one that I actually want to go? Do I really find what I want as part of my life there? So, we either follow the path, we turn right or left, or we make a complete U-turn – but that is totally up to us! It will always be our decisions that make our past to our past. And of course we can learn from our past; from a failed relationship we take with us what a future relationship should no longer look like. We learn from a bad performance that next time we will have to work harder. Through any kind of injury we have actually the opportunity to heal and even from a disaster we can only come out stronger. No matter what it will be from our past that influences us, it will always influence us. How? That is up to us, because we are the once that can influence how it affects us. Nobody can tell us what an experience has to do with us. We alone decide what it does to us. Have a look at your pastime and say goodbye to it, because there is a reason why it is your past. Look forward to your future, you can visualize certain things in it, but live in the here and now. Make yourself aware that everything that counts is the present, the now, because it is the only time you can really take action and more important, it´s the only time where you can live... We can learn one thing right now: people enter our lives, but on the same way they can disappear quickly.
No matter what the circumstances may be, whether it was just a brief encounter or it was a friend for years, we can be sure that it had to happen for a reason. What could this person teach us, or did we act as a teacher for them? Were we companions in a difficult time? Or could we learned that we should be more careful with our trust in someone? I just become aware of this appearance and disappearance of people more and more and I see in the meantime, not always, but sometimes very clearly, what it is actually about. Was it me that was supposed to learn something or was I allowed accompanying someone and teaching him something? No matter who enters our life, it always has its reason. Same happened with my last acquaintance. I don´t want to go any further on the background of getting to known each other but he broke up recently with someone and well I was just there. I knew very well who has been assigned in which role. We talked a lot, I just listened to him and then I showed him ways and possibilities. A few days after our last conversation, I received a very long message from him announcing that he was back in touch with his ex-girlfriend and that she knows that he met me, even if only as a friend, but she is not very enthusiastic about it. A few years ago, I would have been crazy as hell, had the world cursed and also all the males, I would have been deeply disappointed and would have said something like "Of course, it´s always me, always I am the one who is exploited." But in this case it was different; I had to smile when I read his message. On the one hand, it did not surprise me at all, and on the other hand, I realized exactly this: People come into our lives, they accompany us or we accompany them for a while. And it will be fine if they step out of our lives again. What holds forever? Maybe the relationship with ‘the one’, but this model also seems to change. We start a new life with new consciousness and we leave the old models behind us. We are embarking on new terrain. It´s an exciting way and we can really live and enjoy it, as soon as we understand that whatever happens, happens for a reason and also it has its ‘rightness’. Everything will be so much easier for us when we are ready to accept that. Mostly we are aware of it in the most surprising moments. We are sitting by the river, let the soul dangle and then a thought shoots through our mind: Time is running.
She runs and flies in a hurry in which we don´t come after. We want to do so much, but for most of it we just don´t have the time. We say ‘I change something next week’ and then four weeks have passed and we are even changed nothing. We realize how valuable every single moment is and how fast we forget exactly that because we are not in the here and now. We are not at all living every single moment. We are always somewhere else with our thoughts. Be it somewhere in the past, somewhere in the future or through a chat with a completely different person, as with the one we're sitting in a room with. We forget what is really important. We forget to be in the here and now. But much worse: we lose sight of the essentials. Who am I? What makes me really happy? What is good for me? And who is doing well to me? We can question this every single day: Am I still on my way? Am I really doing what fills me and what suits me? Is there something in my life that restricts me or even stops me from what makes me really happy? It will always revolve around the same thing in our life: Our matter of the heart, our heart's desire. Am I on my way to get there? Am I really living my life according to my ideas? I know these are not easy questions. It is even harder to give yourself an honest answer. Change is one thing, but the other thing is that you really acknowledge it, recognize it, and then act on it. So who are we and what are we gonna do with our life? We can ask ourselves this question again and again and we will feel if we answering it honestly, or whether we are giving ourselves an answer that we are not really satisfied with. It will always be up to us to make a difference... To find out who I really am, I have to be one thing above all else: ready! I have to be ready to meet the person who is still hiding somewhere inside of me. I would say it's not always easy, but that would be a lie, because if I open up and make my way, it's just that. When I think that I was back in Germany very dissolved, standing crying in the hall and did not want to leave for Ireland (I just could not say goodbye to my cat and say: See you soon Kierkegaard), but then when I think of the moment when I said goodbye to my mom at the airport, the feeling was different. I love my mom above all else and she is the most important person in my life, but at that moment, I just knew more than clearly that this farewell must be and is necessary, because we simply have to leave people, animals and objects behind. We have to say goodbye so we have the chance to start something new. For me, this farewell was on the one hand saying goodbye to my cat and on the other saying goodbye to my mom. I was ready, I was more than ready. I just wanted to march through passport control and start a new life. Every fibre of my body was ready. And then I sat in the plane. All those moments of panic and doubt that I had in the morning were gone. I felt that I was on the right track - on my way. It's hard to describe the feeling of being on the right track, so I'll start at the beginning.
A very important and loving person in my life told me one day that I should just go to Ireland. For a long time it was clear to me that I did not want to stay in Germany. That was not and is not my country. New Zealand was my country, it made me feel happy and at home ... Unfortunately, New Zealand is not exactly around the corner and the immigration conditions are a bit more difficult. However I was made aware of Ireland and the seed was sown. I am a very impulsive person and therefore I act on things fast, move fast and act on impulse, but if I have something in my head then that's what I want and nothing else. I follow a plan without having a plan. So it was very clear to me that I would fly to Ireland. I booked my one-way flight without first seeing the country and without having a plan of what I would do there. And when we start such actions, then we should realize one thing: we are ready. What is released in us when we have made a decision? Is it euphoria or panic? In the latter case, think over your decision again and otherwise go for it. If we are honest then nothing can happen to us. We can always turn around again or think of something else. And if that happens then that's not going to be a big deal. It always, really always, comes as it should come. But even more important is: it comes at the right time. We have no control over that - we can either move towards it or away from it with our decisions. If anyone here asks me how I came to just move over, I tell them that I've listened to my gut feeling. And here we arrived already at the point: It's always about our feeling it may be a gut feeling or our intuition. Listen to it! Be honest with yourself and open up yourself to yourself and the being that is really in you. Once you're ready for it, things will work out by themselves. Nothing and nobody will be able to stand in your way - except yourself! For a moment, let's pay attention to the objections that I keep hearing: you are young, you have no obligations yet, you have no responsibility. I can only answer that: At the age of 25, I could already have a family, so young is such a thing, but it's true, I'm not 45 and caught in anything. Of course, someday I will have family, but on my terms and only then, if I am really ready. Still, age is not the only factor that plays a role. You can always take the step, you just have to trust commitments, who has obligations? YOU are only obliged to yourself and not even to your job, quit it, you do not need much to live on. Grab your bag and go. Nothing and nobody can hold you back. Every decision that you make will of course affect you and your environment. But have you ever thought that these decisions can also have positive effects on your environment? It does not have to be negative! That may be in your imagination, but that's the fear that speaks out of you and not the courage. Do you think your partner or your children have the real you, if you are unhappy? Responsibility ... Yes, that's a matter of course. Who tells you what you have responsibility for? You are the most important person in your life. As long as your children are small, you have responsibility for them, but this point will eventually be ticked off, they will be free and make their own lives. You have no responsibility for your partner, your parents or your siblings. Only for you. Have you ever wondered where the sense of responsibility actually comes from? Nobody can prescribe for you what you feel responsible for, only you yourself. It sounds very selfish, but you must not make your happiness, your love and your life dependent on other people. Only you can find out for yourself what makes you happy and how you want to live your life. And that's exactly what you need, a healthy dose of selfishness. Have faith, if you have found your way, then everything will work out. Everything will develop and you will not be afraid of the future and uncertainty. Listen to your inner voice alone, for no voice in the outside can guide you as your own. Now there is only one more question: How long does it take to find your way? The counter question in this case is: what are you willing to leave behind, or what do you hold on to, that prevents you from going your way? You are the deciding factor in the answer! But the most fundamental question is: do you want to find your way and if so, are you ready to go? Be brave and dare to finally go on your way. It's the most beautiful gift you can give yourself. |
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Ever since I can remember (and write) notebooks are my constant companions so none of my thoughts can get lost. With this blog I would like to give you an insight into my work and way of living. CateGories
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